How often have you really looked at yourself and said, ‘I love you’? I think sometimes we as humans forget that as important as it is to love our parents, siblings, friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, husbands, wives, children, etc., it is SO important to love yourself first. I’ve heard the saying, ‘You can’t love someone else until you love yourself’ for as long as I can remember; but it never really stuck. If you’re like me, you hear this, understand the meaning and agree with the statement; but then continue living life with the un-awareness of how to really love yourself for you.
After going through my illness I realized that a huge part of what was causing the imbalance of my energy and body make up is that I did not love myself, at all. I liked myself, and I thought that I was as loving of a person as anyone, but I didn’t realize what was really going on. When I tuned in to how I talked to myself, treated my body, and talked about myself to others, I realized that I was sending my body TONS of negative messages; quite the opposite of self-love. I started this at a very young age; comparing myself to other girls/women and shaming what I thought was wrong with me. I thought like this so often that this error thinking became my reality! After being taught to meditate and focus on releasing the negative self-talk was when I noticed how MEAN I was to myself. Why was I being as kind as I could to others and just a b***h to myself? This is when my awareness took flight.
We are all going to make mistakes and continue to grow and learn throughout life, and that’s a good thing! YOU are perfect just as you are right now. We all have an inner-child within us that deserves to be loved, nurtured, and apologized to for our error thinking. I for sure have not mastered the practice of self-love 100% of the time, every day, every thought, and every second. Heck no; I have days where I wish things were different or wish I could change this part of myself, etc. Focusing on allowing your self-love to grow is about being aware of when you have a negative thought and are being unkind to yourself – and letting it go. It is NOT about judging yourself for having a negative thought or wishing something about you was different. I have found that practicing the self-love tactics that resonate with me have changed my life in very positive ways. I can happily say that today I do love myself; something I believe everyone should feel for themselves 🙂
One thing I HAVE realized is that there is no blog post that can teach you how to love yourself…there just isn’t! Everyone is different and unique, thank goodness! With this being said, below are a few of the self-love regimes I have learned and that I enjoy using as examples.
- Look into my eyes in the mirror in the morning when I wake up and say ‘I love you, I really really love you’. (Check out Mirror Work by Louise Hay to learn more about this.)
- Do three activities by myself per week that I really enjoy and that bring me joy; yoga, writing, cooking, bath with candles, playing piano, etc.
- Once again, my rubber band trick to snap myself (gently) anytime a negative thought comes up. Anything we speak or think is an Affirmation that settles in our body and is sent out to the Universe – we want these Affirmations to better our lives 🙂
- Appreciate my body! Give myself a hand massage, leg massage, etc. Lather up my whole body with lotion after a shower and send love to every part of my body; our cells react and love this. Workout hard or go for a casual walk – always keeping respect for my body and listening to what it needs that day.
- Forgive myself fully for any thought or action that doesn’t agree with what I want in my life. Write it on a piece of paper and rip it up and throw it out or meditate and release.
- Eat foods and drink drinks that make me feel good! Some days that’s water and salads and some days it’s a margarita and tacos. I love it all!
- Say ‘No’ when I need to. As much as I may want to go out, taking time for me is just as important.
- Talk and spend fun times with my family, girlfriends and boyfriend! I LOVE connecting and chatting (sometimes I don’t shut up…hehe). Catering to my extroverted self 🙂
- Go with the flow and be flexible in my thinking – I’m a big planner and enjoy it! … But allowing the flexibility of whatever comes with each day is so freeing!
- Be aware.
What does your list of regimes for self-love look like for you?