When you don’t get that phone call; when you don’t hear the compliment from your boss when you’ve done really well; when you weren’t included in something; are you still ‘OK’ and happy? It is so common to rely on other people, things, and situations for happiness. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?? <– I know that’s annoying, but seriously, WHY!
In engaging with people of all ages, I have noticed that there is an overarching pattern of unhappiness; relying on outward things/people to feel happy. If this is you, this is not uncommon! But imagine how happy you could be if you DIDN’T rely on anyone or anything else to determine your happiness…that would be pretty great, right?
So how do we do this? It’s one thing to realize that we are relying on outward sources for our happiness, and it’s a whole other thing to change that thinking. Here is a method I have found to help bring me back to my bliss state of mind 🙂
- Think of a time in your life where you can remember feeling absolute happiness (for example, mine is when my family and I went to Florida when my sister and I were young and we were making up dances in the pool, I vividly remember being 100% happy without a worry in the world). I call this my bliss moment.
- If you have to, write down and describe this moment; maybe typed into your phone, or on a small piece of paper that you fold up and stick in your pocket or a purse
- Thinking back to the beginning of this post; those times where you felt upset because an outward source didn’t comply, you didn’t feel validated, you wish you were somewhere else …… you get the jist. –> Remember your time of pure happiness! Allow your body and mind to remember what it feels like to be in a complete state of bliss and let that feeling stay.
- YOU and only you are in control of how you feel, why would you let outside sources determine if you can stay in this bliss-state?? I sure don’t want an object or another person deciding that for me.
Of course, I am not saying to stay stagnant in a life where you are unhappy; allow yourself to grow and make changes, but do not RELY on outward things to make you happy! When we are truly 100% happy with ourselves, the outside parts of our life that aren’t working out for us will naturally dissipate & more good will flow to us. When you find yourself feeling upset because of an outward ‘situation’, think about your bliss moment and realize that only you can re-create that feeling for yourself.
“The cause of any upset I have is never outside myself.” – The Vimala Alphabet, Declaration of Intent for the Letter D-d