I will never forget the mass amount of judgment I felt when I returned to school after being sick and my face and skin looked completely different. I felt judged, and I was judging others for judging me. In my opinion, ‘judgment’ is the most detrimental state of being we can embody. We are all human, we have all done it; but, have you ever taken the time to stop and wonder why?
For a short time being, judging someone else may make us feel better. It might feel good to think ‘Wow, they look so goofy/embarrassing when they act like that’; ‘I’m so glad I’m not like that’. For a split second this judgment may feel good – because this person is making a fool of themselves, or isn’t cool & I am…..????????????. (Insert confused emoji)
When we judge another person it comes from a deep-rooted place of judgment we have for ourselves. If we don’t have any judgments of ourselves, it is IMPOSSIBLE to judge another person – it just wouldn’t be something you think about ever. The only reason you are able to judge someone for something in them is because you recognize a similar pattern of judgment in yourself. This concept is nearly impossible for some of us to fathom, but try hard with me for one second. Think about the things you judge yourself for; maybe you aren’t good enough, aren’t pretty enough, funny enough, too this or too that. Now, think about the people in your life whom you judge the most; is it because they are too loud, too pretty, not pretty enough, too flirty, too funny, dress poorly, too etc. etc.? Can you see the resemblance here? It’s easier for us to judge others for the insecurities we have about ourselves, it doesn’t hurt as much….or does it?? I can almost 100% guarantee that a few moments after you judge another person (either internally or verbally) that your judgment of yourself only grows deeper and more mean!! Why do this to yourself?!
As I’ve talked about before, we cannot control what other people think or how they act. We cannot stop others from judging us; what we can do is discontinue judging ourselves and allow our minds to release the judgment of everyone else.
Claire’s Tips to STOP Judging 🙂
- Write down what you judge other people for (this can be quite difficult, it’s OK! No one will see this list but you)
- Create a separate list of things you judge yourself for (If this is difficult, or you think you never judge yourself, think about things that you wish were different about you, wish you could do better, etc.)
- Write down each judgment on a separate post-it note.
- Take each post it note in your hand one at a time, and while ripping it up and throwing in the trash say this affirmation; “I am now willing to release the need to judge myself and others.”
- Any time you notice yourself judging someone (whether that be you or another person) take a quick pause and ask yourself what it is within you that you are judging & LET IT GO 🙂
- Remember that no one is perfect and it’s OK to make mistakes – you will make them, just forgive and move forward with love
My FAVORITE rule of thumb; “What other people think of you is none of your business. If you start to make that business your business, you will be offended for the rest of your life.” – Deepak Chopra